This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
