Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
