weddingsv make me drug and hornr
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
