i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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