you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
