Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
