I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
