so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
