What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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