thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
