Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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