I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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