so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
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You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
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All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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