I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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