I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
