I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
