I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
This is classic penis vs brain.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
