This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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