508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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