Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We left the knife in your bed.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
