perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Terrible idea I love it
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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