So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
