i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
