I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Found the puke drawer
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
