By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
