Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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