let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
