your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
