remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
