so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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