Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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