She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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