I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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