What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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