Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
