I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Mom said you looked used
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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