you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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