She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
