Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
