WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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