I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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