I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
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Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
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Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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