sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize