If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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