called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
