maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
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I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
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Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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