shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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