So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
