doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
