So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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