I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
