You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
