She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
then he tried to convert me to islam
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
