i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
