Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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