That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
