This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
