it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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