dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
