I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
