Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
