we're blogging at a bar
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
