are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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