Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
There's even glitter on my cock...
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