The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
